Because of the many different Don Juans throughout the ages, this is a tall order for comparative literary history. How is one to approach this southern trickster in the shadow of globalization? What branch of criticism is to be entrusted with investigating his philosophy of the flesh with its themes of seduction, annihilation, bondage, and cannibalism? One strategy is to analyze how he continues to survive throughout the centuries. Whereas the blond beast Nietzsche survived the Nazis, the 60s, and "theory," the dark-haired Don Juan has had his ups and downs. In contrast to Nietzsche, no one has bothered to bowdlerize his fellow seducer, the aristocratic libertin Don Juan. (4) By constructing a Nietzsche who can do no wrong, his postmodern critics have extirpated the very elements of Nietzschean philosophy that made it seductive. Nietzsche, too, had a thing with music and sex, but only Wittgenstein's favorite philosopher, the musically-inclined Otto Weininger, dared to dwell on the Nietzschean leitmotifs of sexual dysfunction, misogyny, and racism. This despite the fact that he never profited from the benign readings that postmodern critics accorded his soul mate, Nietzsche. Still, this nauseatingly successful seducer continues to lurk in the byways of modernity. Clearly, Don Juan is not part of the canon of those dead white males that have been sanitized by postcolonial theorists. His straight Catholic persona is not ambiguous enough for postcolonial sexual politics. As a strictly heterosexual sex offender, Don Juan is a bad fit for metrosexual poststructuralist theory. (2) No, one cannot love this incredibly intelligent and articulate male chauvinist who always gets his way: "one day to court 'em, one day to trap 'em, one day to jilt 'em, two to replace 'em, and an hour, more or less, to forget 'em." (3) However, the fact that he is surviving the ostensible demise of so-called nationalistic and Eurocentric perspective is a problem for the adherents of postcolonial weltanschauung. All that seems to be left of Don Juan today is the Kierkegaardian neither/nor, that is, the regret part. In the politicallycorrect academy, ethical and aesthetic seduction-be it musical, linguistic, or literary-is definitely verboten. Donny Johnny, as Byron calls him in his diary, this grand seigneur mechant homme is out. In concentrating on theory, on the so-called underlying assumptions of various models of literary history, there is necessarily little time left to scrutinize the juicy details surrounding this glib, unsavory Gestalt. How does this Sisyphus of love do it? It is difficult to do a postcolonial reading of this (un)dead, white, and sexist male. (1) (Aria tratta dal Don Giovanni di Mozart, librettista Lorenzo Da Ponte) Purche porti la gonella, voi sapete quel che fa. A tribute to Armand Singer, who was taught generations to love literature and to find it important enough in itself.